ver⋅bose   /vərˈboʊs/
–adjective characterized by the use of many or too many words; wordy

mo⋅rose   /məˈroʊs/
–adjective 1. gloomily or sullenly ill-humored, as a person or mood. 2. characterized by or expressing gloom.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

i tried to tell y'all about cheesus



see? i'm not the only person who worships Him.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

make it work!

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tim gunn is 55 today!
happy birthday to my friend and mentor!


think before you shop!

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The Urban Outfitters brand is a bastion of liberal freedoms. The products sold in its stores can be irreverent, quirky, and on the the cutting edge. This brand reputation is how they have distinguished themselves in the marketplace.

An interesting article from ThisIsMoney, suggests that there’s a gap between the liberal brand reputation which Urban Outfitters has established, and the conservative viewpoints of its corporate company.

“Urban Outfitters is a triumph of marketing - a hugely successful business that has disguised the gap between what it is and what its customers suppose it to be.”

From ThisIsMoney:

It seems unlikely that many of the staff or the customers know much about the owner and boss of Urban - a brilliant retailer called Richard Hayne whose views would be a serious risk to sales were his profile to rise.

Hayne started the business in the 1970s, taking it public in 1993 and bringing it to Britain in 1998. He is still the biggest shareholder and a seriously rich man - a billionaire by some estimates. You only have to look to see that there is nothing remotely hip about him. There is surely a bigger gulf between Hayne and his customer base than any other High Street retailer.

Shopping in Urban makes you feel like you are somewhere radically Left-wing, an antidote to the corporate blandness of The Gap. But Hayne is a stanch conservative who donates money to Republican politicians, not least Rick Santorum, a now failed Senator whose views on homosexuality are both bizarre and old-fashioned.

Hayne doesn’t give many interviews precisely because he’s afraid that college slackers who get to know him will suddenly realise that buying his clothes is like giving cash to George Bush.

this is the link.

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i can honestly say that i was never a fan of urban outfitters and their overpriced, "cutting-edge" wares, but i would be lying if i said i never shopped there. what i can say is that i will never shop there again. truly and honestly.
there's nothing you can buy at this corporate chain that you can't buy cheaper from a thrift shop or simply put together yourself!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

game over!

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ewewew! and lolz!

floridians are ridiculous! and what about the thing with the lights? and the fireworks?! i would rather get cornholed by the gun from duckhunt.

Friday, July 25, 2008

somebody save me!

i have a new addiction. god help me.



i keep getting stuck on stupid number fucking 42!
i need sleep...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

i bought this!

today. and if it knows whats good for its awesome self,
it will show up before my vacation and fit like a dream!

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it's from the chick who made miranda's AMAZING swimsuit for the sex and the city movie!
don't you just love it!

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

this is going to be amazing

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check out more on the (sure to be controversial) photo spread in the new issue of paris vogue here:

London.Paris.Milan.New York.: VOGUE FIGHTS BACK TO PETA

secretariat

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will is a misogynist and a musician. he only likeS two dogs in the whole world, and he writes and stuff.

this kid is 18 today!
he can legally get drunk in canada and mexico and my house! we shall get drunk tonight! you should come!

weird...

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how old do you think slash looks?
he's 43 today... i thought he was like 50...

Monday, July 21, 2008

yay, feminism!

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“You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?”
Brooke Hogan
Yes, Brooke. Menopause and PMS. At the same time. Go back to school, for fuck's sake. Take some Women's Lib. class like every other asshole.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

next level shit

amibition is good!


Friday, July 18, 2008

buy the ticket, take the ride

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I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but
they've
always worked for me.


hunter s. thompson would have been 70 years old today.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

new word!

fauxmo (abbr. fauxmosexual) 1. a male who is misunderstood to be gay based on appearence or actions
2. a male who dresses well, in fitted clothes and whose ensembles include accessories, such as scarves and porkpie hats
3. overly bromantic friends
4. fauxmos may also include men who literally pretend to be homosexual in a pathetic bid to attract women

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URAQT

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this QT is 31 today! let's have a dance party to celebrate!
also, i will post a pic or two of the new tattoo soon.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

speaking of heidi...

WHO WATCHED??!!

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i want tim gunn to mentor my LIFE!
"holla atcha boy, tim!"

"i brought you flours..."

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my boy will here is 41 today... w00t!
he also shares his birthday with cory feldman, who is 37.

p.s. check heidi klum's weirdo rib, ugh.

perez hilton is a disgusting piece of shit

for this:
http://perezhilton.com/2008-07-16-coles-confession#comment-2576377

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how dare he say things like that about anyone, let alone someone who was just being honest with the public and their fans about their health and life. and to write "diseased" on her picture like that? dude's been getting out of control lately. if he's not completely kissing celebrity ass, he's trying to ruin their lives. make up your mind perez, and next time you are writing "r.i.p." on photos of amy winehouse, pushing your own agenda, or constantly berating celebrities for smoking don't forget that you can't even fucking spell!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

minez!

on my back. tomorrow.

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Monday, July 14, 2008

summer babe

"Wake up we’re stealing cars 1996 1997 1998
we’re all waiting for the year 2000
Just the smell on the summer
can make me fall in love
We go to the parties listen to the dj’s
Dance dance dance and go crazy
She’s a party queen an she’s in party heaven
Her clock is stuck on late
Got a first name basis at 7-11
Hold the slip slide taste the sweat it’s salty
Irrigation ditch and a swimming hole
Nationwide loved the movie"
-Modest Mouse, Summer

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My oh my, I do love the summertime! I need to take a vacation soon, are you in?
(oooooh, this is my 100th post! exciting!)

R.I.P.

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my best friend and her boyfriend jimmy kimmel have broken up after more than five years together. let the "fucking matt damon" jokes abound.

now that you mention it, i'll post these just for kicks.





Sunday, July 13, 2008

i wrote this a good number of years ago

for my zine, Fun in the Dark. i updated it a bit for the times.

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HOW TO START YOUR OWN “RELIGION” *

1. Get a celebrity endorsement

Hey, even Hollywood has to pray! Just ask Mel Gibson, Madonna or Lindsay. Can’t get celebrities of this quality? Simply seek out any (or all) bad sitcom actors from the 80’s and 90’s. What, do you think Boner Stabone has something better to do on Sundays? Blossom? That robot girl from Small Wonder? All of these actors are starving for a comeback, and somehow I think you have their starring role. If not, I’m pretty sure Amy Winehouse would do it for an eightball.

2. Find a prayerful place

Try your parent’s garage. The internet. An abandoned army bunker. Wherever or whatever the place, you need a venue where your huddled masses can gather. Chill, pray, barbecue, whatever.

3. Create a holy-rollin’ slogan

Try one of these if you cannot think of your own:
“Higher power, Hipper people,” “Practice what WE preach,” Come for the prayers, stay for the wafers,” or “Less work than Mormonism!”

4. Get exiled from your own country

If the Dalai Lama can do it, so can you! Lama’s got a huge following all over the world. If this proves too difficult, becoming an expatriate can also work (it makes you seem mysterious and your religion exclusive.)

5. Make beautiful music

Remember all of those Free Tibet concerts from years past? No one even knew what Tibet was until the Beastie Boys told them. Find some hot heartthrob musician(s) to sing your word and the parishioners will appear in droves.

6. Have faith in your clothing choice

Monks have their robes. Nuns have their habits. You have your… American Apparel hot shorts? Whatever you choose, make sure your clothes fit the faith. People in your flock will be flocking to dress like you!

7. Avoid losing your religion

Remember, it can take years or even centuries for a new religion to catch on. Don’t be discouraged. Few believed Jesus at first, either.

* and by "religion," I may or may not mean "cult"

tranny. mess.

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not an original thought, i realize, but after sitting through (i am not sober) an entire video starring these twats, it should be noted that each and every one of these idiots look like they currently or used to have a penis...
NO self-respecting o.g. chick would be caught dead in anything these bitches are wearing, and don't get me started on anything else (streaky orange tan blahblahblah).

monaga-you!

i'm gonna get all sex and the city for a minute:
i was having a conversation with a guy friend tonight (for SATC purposes, we'll call him stanford) and the topic was relationships. we got to talking about how i have been single for a bit over a year now and, though i am loving the single life, i am the first to admit that some... consistency would be nice. not a relationship, per se, because a lot of that stuff is nonsense, but... yeah, consistency. i don't like titles, is what it is. titles are just pressure. titles are for everyone else. titles are for people who take myspace seriously. i am the kind of person who gets all "where is this going?" or try to be all cool until my jealousy boils over into something awkward and ruinous. so let me ask you: (cue the music)
is it possible to have the monogamy without the title?
and, if so, is there a difference?

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new word

swiped from dlisted.com (describing miley cyrus, btw)
prostitot.
awesome! i like it even more than celebutard.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

this is worth sitting through



bonus points for the girl talk shout out!
also, i think the captain looks like a caricature of will's dad. thoughts?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

i wantz it!

i want a hamburger cake for MY birthday just like kid sister!
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...or maybe i just want to be kid sister?
...well, whichever one is easier for you guys...

yes, we do,

and your video is WHACK! these guys suck hella hard. it should also be noted that, in my experience the biggest homophobes are just future queens.


there's nothing wrong with having STYLE. most people prefer it, so pull up your fucking pants!


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now, you fellas go shave your face and pick up a gq... that stands for gentleman's quarterly.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

um...

someone please walk me home from work tomorrow? or every night forever? without going into too many details, i will say that i'm on Stalker #3 right now, and this is hella scary for me.

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(fully aware of how dramatic i'm being with this pic, btw)

epidemic

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never in my customer service career have i received "religious literature" along with or in lieu of a tip. i had never even considered the possibility until sabrina started working at ole's and said this happened all the goddamned time (pun intended.) people promising (without solicitation) to pray for her soul, chritianity pamphlets, notes saying "i'm donating your tip to the church!" sabrina's seen it all. (the latter pressed her to follow the customer out of the store and call out "jesus doesn't pay my rent!") anyhow, though i could empathize with sabrina i had never experienced this firsthand, until late last week. the pamphlet i received was negative and creepy and ugh. and then, just tonight from a very sweet older couple, i received another one. that's right: first 23 years of life-0, one week- 2. 2! in related news i'm officially creeped out about the apocalypse...

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

this'll happen too

i am newly obsessed with cults (haha, yeah) and instead of starting one i think i will throw a party in the theme of cult. with nothing but kool-aid to drink. and everyone will have to wear all white, or a track suit. what do you think?

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yeah, that's a picture of the polyphonic spree... remember them?

i heart snail mail!

which is why i often find myself shopping online.
today, i bought the following:

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freaks and geeks: the complete series, this show has the best soundtrack EVER, and

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sleepaway camp BOX SET complete with unfinished fourth film! juiced! i ask for this set for every gift-giving holiday and never receive it, so i finally gave up and bought it. yay!
i also have two netflix coming. (you hear that, hannah? be there or be square!)

xenu loves the hotties

and my favorite scientologist is 38 today!
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it should also be noted that every time i try to bring up the fact that beck is married/married to marissa ribisi/married to giovanni ribisi's twin/has two kids with his wife/giovanni ribisi has a twin, everyone is like "WTF?!"

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so yeah, all of those things are true. the flaming lips had us sing happy birthday to beck's child at coachella too, way back when. anyway, marissa ribisi was the redhead in dazed and confused. she also showed her boobies in the hilarious indie comedy 100 girls. she designs clothes now and no one seems to know that either. also, they had a second kid more than a year ago and no one seems to know the sex or name of that child, wtf is wrong with the universe?!

so yeah,

go see it.

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"you look like a retarded airplane!"

will is in "serious play mode" right now (hay fever at the alterena! go see it!) so he keeps this accent up, which is british. inexplicably, while we were walking hannah to the bus stop, his accents becomes the swampy south slingblade accent. with me walking the dog is sandals, will walking his bike while nursing a beer and hannah missing her bus, she surged ahead of us. it should be noted that, as it is, hannah is incapable of walking in a straight line. we are stoned. she is swerving up and down park st. "why can't i walk in a straight line?!" she curses the heavens as she spreads her arms on either side for balance.
will's response: (in sling blade accent) "you look like a retarded airplane!" she did! i tried to take a picture on my phone but hannah wouldn't pose.
but she caught her bus.

also, nothing good came up when i googled retarded airplane.

Monday, July 7, 2008

you can buy it at the natural grocery store

from wikipedia:
KAVA
Kava (Piper methysticum) (Piper Latin for "pepper", methysticum Greek for "intoxicating") is an ancient crop of the western Pacific. Other names for kava include ʻawa (Hawaii), 'ava (Samoa), yaqona (Fiji), and sakau (Pohnpei). The word kava is used to refer both to the plant and the beverage produced from its roots. Kava is a legal intoxicant in many countries and if consumed before driving would be widely regarded as DUI. It is a tranquilizer primarily consumed to relax without disrupting mental clarity. Its active ingredients are called kavalactones. In some parts of the Western World, kava extract is marketed as herbal medicine against stress, insomnia, and anxiety.

pika-shoes!

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what will japanese schoolgirls think of next?

Sunday, July 6, 2008

this is totes gonna happen

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i am documenting "my social experiment" on here so that i will actually get my shit together and do it. i am kind of obsessed with the idea of love, including other people's perception of it. obsessed enough to try to find out what total strangers and all my (non-lazy) friends define love as. so, i decided i am going to buy a ton of postcards, stamp them and address them to myself, with the words LOVE IS written on them. i will ask people to fill them out (anonymously) with their own perception of love and send them back to me. i will probably post them on a seperate site somewhere.
what do you guys think?

two sexy beasts have birthdays on the same day!

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james "chocolate rain" murphy (he's single!) he enjoys communism (as a hobby) and plays the drums in a band called white cloud. he is also an extraordinary dresser! he likes babies, puppies, and long walks on the beach.

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alysa lou stefani (also single!) works a betsey johnson and is therefore quite fashionable. she loves tattoos and has a bunch of hot ones. not only can she get down with some sweet moves at a dance party, but she'll kick your ass at king's cup and tell you about yourself. she is what we call a "certified hottie!"

happy birthdays!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

life just got a little bit easier

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but only if this is real.
after all, the company the sells the "lightweight portable cardboard toilet" is called the brown corporation, whose slogan is "The Brown Corporation... a solid company"! please check out the website and tell me if this is real and they are just "punny" or if it's a joke!

http://www.thebrowncorporation.com/

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

i would dress like a chihuahua for free food...

but 50 cent ain't havin that tho:

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50 Cent has no problem telling Taco Bell where to stick its chalupa.
The feud-sparking rapper, whose legal team is already engaged in a mother of a battle with his conspiracy-theorist baby mama, has lashed out at the fast-food franchise for having the cojones to suggest he change his name to 79, 89 or 99 Cent (his choice) to help promote the chain's value menu.
Apparently, that was a little too much thinking outside the bun for the lawyered-up rapper, who not only took issue with the promo stunt, but threatened to sic his legal team on the chain.
"When my legal team is finished with them, Taco Bell is going to have a new corporate slogan: 'We messed with the bull and got the horns!' " Fiddy said.
The rapper's rep went one further, calling out the company's big cheese on his cheekiness.
"This is a sleazy and ill-conceived publicity stunt by Taco Bell's president, Greg Creed, whose disingenuous offer was leaked to the press before it was even presented to 50 Cent's agent yesterday," the rapper's rep said.
As it is, the taco giant's offer was sent to Fiddy—and, of course, the media—promising to donate $10,000 to a charity of the rapper's choice if he agreed to the name change. Also requested from the franchise chief was for the newly monikered rapper to pay a visit to one of Taco Bell's locations and rap his order at the drive-thru.
"We know that you adopted the name 50 Cent years ago as a metaphor for change," the letter read. "We at Taco Bell are also huge advocates for change. We encourage you to 'Think Outside the Bun' and hope you accept our offer."
Needless to say, this is one chain the rapper is definitely off. (from e! news)

Another Celebrity Birthday!

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Samuel Albert Mulligan is 25 today!*



*Sam is my brother

ohai, crossover!

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i love missbehave magazine and their blog, missbehavemag.com on the count of the bloggers (incl. the lovely sarah morrison) are filthy and awesome.
check this one:
http://www.missbehavemag.com/2008/07/im-living-all-over-you-7/
haha... just don't read the comments...

we should do some flinstones meet the jetsons stuff and be friends!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

hair crises, pts. 1 and 2

yesterday was a bad hair day. i didn't look in the mirror until my hair was almost dry and then... ugh. not only am i in dire need of a haircut, but all of a sudden (overnight, even) my color is all bland and fug and dried up. so today i decided to give 'er the old trim and color. the trim is all good, whatevs. hannah owes me so she brings over an extra box of red dye from when she was a redhead too. the color on the box is darker than i expect, but still red and ravishing or whatevs. i use it. as it sits, i grow aprehensive. i rinse it out, look in the mirror and try not to freak... wet hair is darker, it's all good! HA! i dry it. it's PURPLE. i'm not against the idea on some people, but on me....
i look like the bastard child of a 14 year old skate rat BOY and a 38 year old bull dyke.

more to come as the story progresses.
mulligan out.

i can haz now plz?

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from
http://designglut.com/smokinggun.html

pleeeaaase?!

have i been living under a rock?!

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uuummmm, since when is jason lee NOT married to the chick he had pilot inspektor with?! and since when does he have a new lady who is now knocked up with number two?! and since when are these two getting MARRIED??? and since when is he a SCIENTOLOGIST?!?! okay, i knew that last one (though i wish it wasn't true...) and, well, the new knocked up one and jason just filed for a marriage license today. i can't wait to see what they name this kid! i hope they name it xenu beck cruise-smith!


p.s. a quick wiki search to find out that lee was never married to that chick he had pilot with, but he was married before that.

addicted!

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Did anyone see Weeds last night?? Boy oh boy, it's getting good!

Feliz Cumpleanos

Sufjan Stevens, who is 33 today!

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